Personal entry

Here is to new beginnings.  


I am done with ~


*Trying to process emotions and baggage that are not mine. 


* Feeling distant and disconnected.  


* Feeling that it is better to ensure the happiness of others rather than worrying about fulfilling mine own.


This is not healthy for me. 


I’ve known things need to slow down. I had stated generally as well as blunt. I am told that I am heard and agreed with. 


Actions speak differently. 


Everything thing seems to be pushed faster than can be handled. 



I am tired of feeling like: 

~I am being manipulated and used. 

~I am a means to an end. 

~I am being patted on the head told I’m a good girl while other ‘priorities’ are addressed, persued in my euphoric state of receiving false love. 

~The conquests that are truly wanted & desired are shoved down my throat without my concerns being addressed by nothing other than pretty words. 






I try very hard to help everyone in my relationships feel like they are on top of the world. that they are number one.  Honestly to the detriment of my happiness. 


I want to give them more.  I myself want to move fast and it frightens me. 


I feel that, on an emotional and everyday level,  I am left in the dark. 


I am slowing down. I am forcing myself to breath. slow down and take it one step at a time. 


I want truth, honesty, love, compassion, tell me where I stand and proceed to take action that back up what you tell me. Treat me well and I will give you the world.  Communicate with me. 






~