With as obnoxious as these situations are, I am grateful for them. I learned a lot. Especially in the areas of self worth and loving myself.
No one deserves to be treated this way.
~ A lover being too tired to be with you but not too tired to be with another.
~A lover who can afford $100-300 an hour for an escort but can’t afford a plane ticket to visit.
~Person A does not respond they way you want. You go to person B and give them the emotional support person A asked you for. You ignore person A, your primary. They will always be there, right? ummm no.
~ Being listed in a cast of characters with a person and a man. A man who never admitted a relationship existed with this person until two months after this person thinks there was one.
~In negotiations: Question: What can I do? A:What ever you want. Q: Really? okay what is your safe word. A: soft scrub. After the fact: Oh all ass play is a hard limits. Okay. fine. Play continues, no safe word or stop at any ass play, encouraged with moans and presentations of said ass. One night a fist slides in your ass easily. after THAT play the response: I’ve never done thaaat before. Then you tell the man days later it was serious edge play for you and you are still dropping and need contact. 4-5 days later?
Whatever. Considering my fist slid in your ass like an oversized glove over a small hand, your statement can be served on toast.
~Was it a relationship? No…. I was the girlfriend of the man to fuck to get in good with him. Was I of any care or interest? I doubt it. My time, my needs & my time with the man not respected. No time taken to learn me or learn my body. My requests, my wants, my story all ignored and disregarded, mocked even. What was shared in confidence and bonding was used to your manipulating benefit against me.
Essentially what I’ve learned:
~I am far too precious to beg anyone to spend time with me.
~No more will I okay a fuck session without meeting the person first. If it’s that important You don’t need to be with me.