A Flogging to a new beginning ~

Going on three weeks since my flogging and I am still processing.

I didn’t break. I wish I had.  My upper back, barely healed, was one huge glorious bruised scab with scratches and a couple small chunks taken out. Flashes of the session have been brought to my mind every time I move.

A week prior to the flogging, I was speaking with a friend regarding Kink, BDSM, and all things yummy and some not so yummy.  I asked for a flogging.  I was near tears when I asked.

I felt as if I were begging for it.

Only realizing then I needed the flogging, or rather needed to break.

Arrangements were made for dinner and possible dungeon time. I was relieved, anxious, excited, and frightened all at the same time.  The last time I was flogged was in October, far too long for me.  I could almost taste the leather of the flogger with each heartbeat.

Dinner came and went, savored dessert, and it was time.

I was instructed to strip down to what was “flogging Comfortable” and then assume the position on the massage chair.

That’s when the reflections started.  I could not strip off my panties.  I kept them on and positioned myself on the massage chair.

With every strike, nearly every heartache ever felt came to the surface. The pain were as sharp, or more so, as the day I felt it. I hated it.  I hated my self for my heart still hurting.

It felt like only ten minutes when he actually had wailed on me for nearly 40 minutes.

He quit, offering to use other implements of pain. I declined, I was not in the head space to negotiate anything more than the flogging we agreed on.

I declined because emotionally and with where my head was, I wanted nothing more than for him to continue on until there was nothing left of me.

Then LScribbens had his turn flogging me for nearly 20 minutes more and stopped.  My back was hamburger.  He made that call for me that it was a good stopping point and I am grateful.

It was a wonderful experience. I was left with a lot to process and have been processing since. I realize this was more than a play session, it was an emotional cleansing that I need to finish.

I’m looking forward to another session, and hopefully will purge and get the rest of the way there. I am grateful to those in my life I love and trust.

Thank you my friend and thank you my love, LScribbens, for being there with me.

One thought on “A Flogging to a new beginning ~

  1. I totally get this, from top to bottom, inside and out.

    I have come to use it as a tool now, I am pretty much “flogging” dependent. Which really sucks when the one whom you’ve tasted such a release with has move away and only here every so often.

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