to an audience of
to glazed over looks.
Hindsight is 20/20
She allowed herself to be vulnerable.
Her voice fell on deaf ears.
Experiences not acknowledged
Her feelings unimportant.
Her presence was ignored.
She listened to them.
She was there for them.
Time always ran out
when it was her turn.
She was patted on the head and told:
Next time I promise
It’s not you it’s me
It’s not you I need to finish this
It’s not you… It’s everything else.
Attention craved and ached for
given blatantly to others.
Privately
Publicly
On her special days, the praising of others
took precedence over what she was accomplishing.
She asked for attention
and waited
She tried to be patient
she waited
and waited more
Promised days came and went
She asked again
begged
cried
She wanted to scream
She felt she was reciprocated
with guilt
She was mourning what she invested
Closing her eyes
Feeling nothing
other than being an elegant place holder
A servant, not in a good way.
That is not what a submissive or slave is.
She trusted them with her heart and her story.
She dared to hope.
She was nothing other than the one to placate to get in good with the man.
She continued to try.
Continually drained.
Listening to others stories, remembering,
caring, embracing,
comforting until she has no more to give.
Secrets and stories….
Lies and manipulations
She was mocked, She was not defended.
Her time not respected.
In the end she discovers
knows
She has been lied to.
Promises to her broken
then lied about
so they could save face
She has also lied to herself.
It’s not okay to be the only one investing
in the relationships.
She has a right to be loved
as much as she loves.
She deserves to be loved
the way she loves.